do I really believe 'to die is gain'?

Every so often, I hear, read or see something that sparks some serious soul searching and self examination, deep, deep down in the darkest corners of my heart. The kind that keeps me awake when I should be asleep, the kind where I force myself to be honest, and it's painful. The most recent time this happened, and most likely one of the more crucial instances... Was it last Sunday, or the Sunday before that? I can't remember. On that day, I learned about one of the Reformers who was tortured and murdered by the Catholic Church for his resounding and unrepentant faith in the Gospel, Salvation by grace and faith alone, and non-violence (the man was Michael Sattler;he was an Anabaptist. I would encourage you to do a little of your own research to learn about him, as this is not a biographical post). He would not back down or shy away from the convictions he held so strongly and dearly, he would not forsake the Hope that he had found...or rather the Hope that found him--Jesus Christ.The price, was of course, death. He left this earth with joy in his heart.
And so, I was forced to ask myself...would I die for Christ? Would I die peacefully and joyfully? Do I really, really, really, hold the Truth of the Gospel higher than any other, and would I DIE for it, like so many have and still do? Or would I forsake it, leave it, just as so many others have, and still do? Of course, I told myself, you would do the right thing. But then, another part of me said, 'sure , you might die for Christ, but what if it wouldn't just be your life on the line? What if standing strong wasn't just your life, but say, Henry or Elizabeth? What if you were tortured or someone you love was tortured on account of your belief? Would you stand strong then? Would you really?'
(If any of you don't know, Henry and Elizabeth are my little brother and baby sister.)
Days followed, and my thoughts were consumed with this one, all important question: Do I love Christ more than I love myself?

I'll answer this question with a question...What could compare with the joys of heaven, of seeing my Saviour face to face,in His presence forever...the answer is, absolutely nothing. If I die, I will be in Glory for eternity. And, on the other hand, what could compare with the guilt and eternal consequence of denying Him, my LORD, and losing the most precious gift of salvation? The answer is, absolutely nothing. It says in Matthew 10:32-33 "Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will acknowledge him before my Father in heaven.But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown before my father in Heaven." those are serious words, serious, true, UNCHANGING words.
Here is a verse that speaks to my core and testifies to the truth:
"I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."
--Philippians 1:20-21

Yes, I will live for Christ. And if need be, die for Him.

Joyfully in Him,
Emily
Matthew 10:22

All scripture verses were taken from the NIV translation.